People don’t come with an instruction manual

I admit it – I’m a planner. I am a disciple of the Franklin Planner; the Microsoft Outlook shared calendar. I follow the instructions for assembling my new desk chair step-by-step, being sure to orient each of the pieces the way they appear in the manual.

More times than not, this serves me well. If I follow the steps correctly, in order, I will achieve my goals. When I don’t, I can go back to the instructions, understand where I screwed up (Oh, the piece is inserted that way), correct it, and achieve success.

Until I plan for people. This sound familiar? “I need co-workers to change their behavior. I’ll create a dynamic PowerPoint presentation that explains the need for change, present it, answer any questions and counter any objections, and follow-up with an e-mail to confirm the new actions required.” I will check off the items on my plan and wait for the behavior change to occur. Sometimes I wait for a very long time …

Unfortunately, people don’t come with an instruction manual. They are complex and don’t behave in linear, predictable ways. We need to let go of our search for the “human instruction manual” and embrace new ways of thinking that are based on the reality of complexity.

No "Naughty" or "Nice"

It seems that we humans are hard-wired to judge. Think about how pervasive our language is regarding “winners and losers,” the “haves and have-nots,” “right or wrong.”

Another way of framing these distinctions is “same as me (or us)” and “different than me (or us).” In a blinding flash of the obvious, the “winners,” “haves,” and “right” people are those that see the world the same we way do.

The question for the day is, “What does judging do for us?” How does it serve us?” Those pronouncements clearly have value – why else would we do them so often? One could argue that they help with a Darwinian “survival of the fittest” – may the best ideas win. Another perspective is that they help form communities – people who are like us are easier to talk and relate to. A third benefit is that it justifies (rationalizes?) the reasons we do not choose to associate with someone else. It’s much easier to claim it is about them than about us.

There are some downsides to judging. We lose out on the ability to learn from others different than ourselves. We lose the quality of thinking and discerning that comes from rationale, deep conversations that cause us to question our own beliefs, values, and assumptions. We lose out on “the other half” of the world out there.

So the next time you find yourself uttering a holier-than-thou pronouncement of right and wrong; of “naughty or nice” – pause for a minute. What have you gained? What have you lost?

Did you ever notice how many good ideas are never successfully implemented? I find it incredibly aggravating when that happens, and for a number of reasons:

• It's frustrating for the person who has the good idea. Here he or she is, just knowing that there is a better way, and it just isn't being put in place.
• It's irritating for the people who would benefit from the better idea. Suffering is not fun – especially when you find out – often later – that it wasn't necessary.
• It's costly to the company. Whether a for-profit, or not-for-profit, wasted resources and goodwill are the inevitable result of an inadequate process.

While there are certainly many reasons for this, one contributing factor seems to be assuming that an improvement will somehow magically implement itself. It's like buying a top of the line hammer at a hardware store and somehow believing it will magically do a better job of driving nails. Without good eye-hand coordination, it simply doesn't matter how good the hammer is!

This thought process holds true whether it be for an individual tool, a drawer of tools, or an entire toolbox. Well intentioned people believe that if they identify better individual tools – "Look at this new version of a histogram," new classes of tools – "Theory of constraints can solve all of our problems," or new toolboxes – "All we need is team-based culture" – that the rest will take care of itself.

Duh.